first time to church last Sunday
so tiny in my crib!
hangin' out with Daddy
ahhhhh, this is the life.... eat, sleep, poop
typical lazy Sunday afternoon.... big lunch after church and take a nap!
flirting with a wink
Sunday, August 31, 2008
Some More Pictures
Here's a few more from the last week or so...
so tiny in my crib!
hangin' out with Daddy
ahhhhh, this is the life.... eat, sleep, poop
typical lazy Sunday afternoon.... big lunch after church and take a nap!
flirting with a wink
so tiny in my crib! hangin' out with Daddy ahhhhh, this is the life.... eat, sleep, poop typical lazy Sunday afternoon.... big lunch after church and take a nap! flirting with a wink
First Annual Fire and Ice
Our church had their first annual Fire and Ice event last night, and it was pretty neat! We used to have an annual 4th of July event called Fire in the Sky, but this year they did away with it. Instead, for Labor Day Weekend, we'll start enjoying Fire and Ice where they have ice cream and fireworks.
We packed Isaac up and made the trek to enjoy the event, and I was so thankful Isaac did so well. I'm still working through my anxiety over taking him out and all that it entails and all the what ifs that trail along with it. To my surprise, Isaac slept almost the whole time. I couldn't believe he was out like a light for so long, especially with all of the crowd noise, music, and friends oohing and aahhing over him. He woke up just before the fireworks started, which was perfect timing. And then as anticipated, he decided he was hungry shortly thereafter. What I didn't think of was that Oh yeah, fireworks are loud and make a lot of noise!! All of a sudden as I'm coordinating feeding Isaac while Kevin plugs his left ear and his right ear is soundly held against my chest, I'm having thoughts like, "I'm such a bad mom! Why did I bring him here? I can't believe I didn't think about how much noise fireworks make! We're way out here in the park, and there's no shelter! What if he freaks out; what do I do?? Everyone probably thinks I'm crazy for bringing a 3 1/2 week old out here..."
But you know Isaac did so well! He was chowin' down and mesmerized by the light show. Other kids were screaming in fear at the noise, but Isaac was enchanted and seemed to be just fine. As Kevin put it, he'd let us know if he wasn't happy. I'm not going to lie, although the fireworks were cool, I was REALLY glad when they ended! Although I got a little nervous through out the event, all in all it was a fun time out with friends.
first annual Fire and Ice picture
Alex & Leslie
some friends Alex, Leslie, Krista, Jaimie and Amanda... Frank was likely chasing Levi somewhere, and Autumn and Mark were missing... ;)
Jake & Kevin goofing off ... as usual
We packed Isaac up and made the trek to enjoy the event, and I was so thankful Isaac did so well. I'm still working through my anxiety over taking him out and all that it entails and all the what ifs that trail along with it. To my surprise, Isaac slept almost the whole time. I couldn't believe he was out like a light for so long, especially with all of the crowd noise, music, and friends oohing and aahhing over him. He woke up just before the fireworks started, which was perfect timing. And then as anticipated, he decided he was hungry shortly thereafter. What I didn't think of was that Oh yeah, fireworks are loud and make a lot of noise!! All of a sudden as I'm coordinating feeding Isaac while Kevin plugs his left ear and his right ear is soundly held against my chest, I'm having thoughts like, "I'm such a bad mom! Why did I bring him here? I can't believe I didn't think about how much noise fireworks make! We're way out here in the park, and there's no shelter! What if he freaks out; what do I do?? Everyone probably thinks I'm crazy for bringing a 3 1/2 week old out here..."
But you know Isaac did so well! He was chowin' down and mesmerized by the light show. Other kids were screaming in fear at the noise, but Isaac was enchanted and seemed to be just fine. As Kevin put it, he'd let us know if he wasn't happy. I'm not going to lie, although the fireworks were cool, I was REALLY glad when they ended! Although I got a little nervous through out the event, all in all it was a fun time out with friends.
trying to act normal...
first annual Fire and Ice picture
Alex & Leslie
some friends Alex, Leslie, Krista, Jaimie and Amanda... Frank was likely chasing Levi somewhere, and Autumn and Mark were missing... ;)
Jake & Kevin goofing off ... as usual
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Out Without Isaac
Here are our first outings without Isaac...
Kevin was introduced to archery by our friends Mark and Tom.
And he got a bulls eye! How's that for a beginner? He's always been good at aiming.
I went out with Noni and Mom for some good ol' pedicures.
For our first date after Isaac, we went to the Sanctuary Resort & Spa (thanks for the friends and family discount Alex!!) and got massages - it was heavenly!
And then we went to one of our favorite stand by's - Red Robin (YUM)
It was strange getting out without Isaac, but we had a lot of fun. Kevin and I have a whole new perspective on life. We're parents now! What a new world. But we know that our marriage still needs to come first, and we really want to make sure that we still get out and spend quality time together to continue building our marriage... even though we were both anxious to get home to see Isaac again. :)
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Isaac's First Night Out
We did it! Kevin and I officially conquered taking Isaac for his first social outing. He has gone on a few errands with me and Mom, but this time we went out for dinner at the Cheesecake Factory! Along the way we encountered a poopy diaper and a feeding session. Isaac did so well! [And so did Daddy and Mommy. :)]
Family Time
I'm getting really spoiled by these two... always being held and cuddled by Noni and Great Noni!
Me & Mommy
Napping with Paw Paw
Daddy & I having some fun
Me & Paw Paw
Napping with Paw Paw
Daddy & I having some fun
Great Noni and I
Me & Paw Paw
I am so irresistable, even Uncle Caleb couldn't resist holding me!
Sunday, August 17, 2008
First Bath
This was his first bath the other day. He did so well! He seemed to enjoy it for a while until he decided he was done and wanted out. Cutie pie. He smelled so good afterwards!
And then after it was all said and done, and he was warm and cozy... he ended up back on the changing table with a big poop! Chip off the ol' block...
And then after it was all said and done, and he was warm and cozy... he ended up back on the changing table with a big poop! Chip off the ol' block...
Thursday, August 14, 2008
The Story
Where do I begin?? The fact that I am finally able to write to you is an accomplishment in itself! I know you have all be waiting in impatient anticipation, and I promise I haven't been making you wait on purpose. So here we go - the story...
Dark clouds full of monsoon rain filled the skies Tuesday night. As we prepared to make our way to the hospital for my scheduled induction at 10:00 pm, the heavens let loose a downpour accompanied by a lightning show. Upon arriving at the hospital we learned that it seems women's water always breaks when the rain pours! It was a busy maternity ward that night. What do you know... mine broke as soon as we got into the room! Something about the gravitational pull?
We got settled in as I got hooked up to the IV and pitocin. That stuff worked quickly for me! It didn't take much to send me into contractions, and labor was underway. As they came stronger and stronger, I practiced my breathing techniques. All the while I tried to sink in the realization that I was having a baby. I must have said it a hundred times - "I can't believe I'm having a baby..." It was just so surreal.
My original intention was to attempt a natural delivery, free of the drugs. I wanted to know what it would be like and also to prevent any possibility of the drugs passing through to Isaac or slowing the labor down. Well, after what seemed like an eternity with the contractions getting stronger and stronger, my nerves were already getting the better of me. I was really tense, and no matter how much I tried to stay calm or relax for what was ahead, it was to no avail.
So... after discussing it with Kevin, he helped me to think through it all. In the end I decided that an epidural would be a good idea to help me to stay calm and relaxed and enjoy this process. I felt satisfied with the amount of contractions that I felt and could say that I've experienced labor just fine, thank you. Also, after talking it over with the nurse, I was reassured that it would not harm Isaac. And my labor was progressing at such a rate that it was not suspected that the epidural would slow things down.
We ordered the epidural expecting it to take about an hour or so. Instead we were introduced to the anesthesiologist ten minutes later! I was really afraid of what was to come next, but as Kevin put it, "Enduring the temporary discomfort of a needle is far better than hours of intense labor, right?" Right. Okay, let's do it.... now, next to pushing Isaac out, what came next was likely the most scary and painful part of my labor experience! Not only was I supposed to sit hunched over during contractions as this man stuck a long needle into my back, I was supposed to stay calm while doing so! I tried my best, but I shook uncontrollably as he proceeded with the poking. Mom and the nurse held me up while Kevin watched from behind. (I don't know how he's able to stomach so much!) Although the anesthesiologist was proclaimed to be great, he had a hard time getting that needle to go straight. At one point I asked with intense pain in my voice, "Am I supposed to feel it so far to the left??!!!!" It seemed like an eternity, but he finally got it right after three attempts to straighten the needle out, and it was done.
That was horrible. But... I am thankful I got the epidural. First of all, I wasn't as interested in getting up and walking around as I thought I would be, so being confined to the bed was fine with me. Second, it allowed me to relax and actually SLEEP through most of my labor! In hindsight, I think that's what enabled me to squeeze out a near 10 pound boy! I know I wouldn't have been able to do that without all the rest. And in the end, the epidural didn't seem to be that strong because I was able to feel the pressure and faint contractions as I neared time to push. By that time, it seemed I was feeling everything as I struggled to get Isaac out.
We only had one little scare during my labor. Mom was out making a call to Dad to update him on my progress. Kevin and I were napping. All of a sudden three nurses rushed in and woke me abruptly. "You need to turn on your side right now!" one said. Kevin jumped awake and I groggily complied with the nurse's command. The three descended upon me as they proceeded to replace the external fetal heart monitor with an internal one. When it was done, they stood watching Isaac's heartbeat with anticipation. It was after he stabilized that Maureen, our primary nurse, explained that his heartbeat had dropped too low during a contraction.
After twelve hours the time was nearing to begin pushing. I was starting to feel the pressure of Isaac's descent with each new contraction. Time to wake up! At 11:50 am, I started the final stretch. It was a slow start because I wasn't pushing as hard as I could. The nurse kept coaching me to bear down and push harder... I knew I was holding back. Finally I confessed to her that I was afraid of having an accident on the table. She was sensitive to my concern but told me that I needed to give it all I could to encourage Isaac down the birth canal. So to help me focus she covered me up further down there and said, "There, now no one will know if you do or not." She was great. :) I appreciated that.
Remember that mirror I said I didn't want? Well, as I progressed it was actually helpful having it to help motivate me to keep pushing. I only had it there shortly before I said, "Take it away!!" But for the while that it was there, and I could see a glimpse of Isaac's dark head, it helped me to stay focused and encouraged that we were progressing. With Kevin to my left and Mom at my head, I had two amazing coaches who helped me through. Although it felt good to push, it was starting to hurt more and more with each round. Kevin took over the counting, and at one point was counting too slow. I felt like my head was going to explode while pushing so hard for so long, between contractions I finally strained out a command, "Kevin you gotta count faster!!!!!! You're going too slow!!!!!!!" After that, he was perfect.
The Lord was my other gentle and consistent coach during Isaac's delivery. We had the radio set to KLOVE, and as worship music poured from the speakers, I was able to stay grounded and encouraged throughout the struggle. I truly felt His presence as He coached me. I heard his voice gently leading me and encouraging me, keeping me from near despair. His words were echoed through the music, which spoke to my soul.
After an hour of pushing, it was time to call the doctor in. Little did we know that I was one of four women giving birth within a 20 minute window!! Finally Dr. Lindstrom was in and ready to catch a baby. Pushing was getting very difficult by this point. I couldn't tell that I had had an epidural, it seemed I was feeling everything. Whether that was normal or not, I was getting tired and feeling a lot of pain by now. My silent pushing led to moaning, which eventually led to grunting (I'm told. I don't remember some of this next phase of pushing. I think I must have gone to some happy place since I had my eyes tightly clamped shut for the remainder of the delivery.) Just when I cried out, "I can't do this!" Dr. Lindstrom responded with, "Compose yourself, and push hard one more time!" That helped pull me back from giving up, and with one more strong push, Isaac was out!
I looked down in disbelief at my new baby boy. I was sobbing uncontrollably. I looked at Kevin, and he was crying too. I just couldn't believe all of this was happening, again thinking "I just had a baby!" I held my breath waiting for that first cry. Kevin had the honor of cutting the umbilical cord, and then they lifted Isaac onto my chest. I will never forget this next moment, our first moment. Isaac peeked out of one eye at me, and we made eye contact. He slowly opened the other eye and laid there, just staring into my eyes. Time stood still in that moment.
It's been 8 days now, and I'm not going to lie, it's been rough. Today I can sit semi-comfortably for the first time! And I can actually walk around! It's great. I will never take that for granted again... I am finally starting to feel like myself again. Isaac has been an incredibly good baby, and I find so much joy in simply holding him and watching his different facial expressions. He is really attentive! And that was confirmed yesterday at his one week check up. As his pediatrician held him, Isaac studied her face intently. Noting how he stayed focused on her face for so long, she commented that he is a very intelligent baby. She said that this is how babies learn, by face to face interaction. Although he has dropped to 8 lbs, 10 oz, which is normal, it came as no surprise that he is in the higher percentile for his weight and length. He's a healthy boy!
Even though I've been in extreme discomfort from my epesiotomy and other recovery issues, I have treasured this last week with Isaac. It's been amazing to learn about his already developing personality. He is sometimes impatient and easily frustrated, but he is very persistent and determined. He doesn't give up easily. He already loves routine and structure, and if I do anything out of order he gets out of sorts. He's also a cuddler and loves to be held. Even though we may regret this later, I've discovered that he sleeps best when he sleeps with his Momma... and as a result Mommy and Daddy sleep better too!
My little boy is so precious. That's all I can say... a true blessing from the Lord that I will always cherish and be thankful for.
Dark clouds full of monsoon rain filled the skies Tuesday night. As we prepared to make our way to the hospital for my scheduled induction at 10:00 pm, the heavens let loose a downpour accompanied by a lightning show. Upon arriving at the hospital we learned that it seems women's water always breaks when the rain pours! It was a busy maternity ward that night. What do you know... mine broke as soon as we got into the room! Something about the gravitational pull?
We got settled in as I got hooked up to the IV and pitocin. That stuff worked quickly for me! It didn't take much to send me into contractions, and labor was underway. As they came stronger and stronger, I practiced my breathing techniques. All the while I tried to sink in the realization that I was having a baby. I must have said it a hundred times - "I can't believe I'm having a baby..." It was just so surreal.
My original intention was to attempt a natural delivery, free of the drugs. I wanted to know what it would be like and also to prevent any possibility of the drugs passing through to Isaac or slowing the labor down. Well, after what seemed like an eternity with the contractions getting stronger and stronger, my nerves were already getting the better of me. I was really tense, and no matter how much I tried to stay calm or relax for what was ahead, it was to no avail.
So... after discussing it with Kevin, he helped me to think through it all. In the end I decided that an epidural would be a good idea to help me to stay calm and relaxed and enjoy this process. I felt satisfied with the amount of contractions that I felt and could say that I've experienced labor just fine, thank you. Also, after talking it over with the nurse, I was reassured that it would not harm Isaac. And my labor was progressing at such a rate that it was not suspected that the epidural would slow things down.
We ordered the epidural expecting it to take about an hour or so. Instead we were introduced to the anesthesiologist ten minutes later! I was really afraid of what was to come next, but as Kevin put it, "Enduring the temporary discomfort of a needle is far better than hours of intense labor, right?" Right. Okay, let's do it.... now, next to pushing Isaac out, what came next was likely the most scary and painful part of my labor experience! Not only was I supposed to sit hunched over during contractions as this man stuck a long needle into my back, I was supposed to stay calm while doing so! I tried my best, but I shook uncontrollably as he proceeded with the poking. Mom and the nurse held me up while Kevin watched from behind. (I don't know how he's able to stomach so much!) Although the anesthesiologist was proclaimed to be great, he had a hard time getting that needle to go straight. At one point I asked with intense pain in my voice, "Am I supposed to feel it so far to the left??!!!!" It seemed like an eternity, but he finally got it right after three attempts to straighten the needle out, and it was done.
That was horrible. But... I am thankful I got the epidural. First of all, I wasn't as interested in getting up and walking around as I thought I would be, so being confined to the bed was fine with me. Second, it allowed me to relax and actually SLEEP through most of my labor! In hindsight, I think that's what enabled me to squeeze out a near 10 pound boy! I know I wouldn't have been able to do that without all the rest. And in the end, the epidural didn't seem to be that strong because I was able to feel the pressure and faint contractions as I neared time to push. By that time, it seemed I was feeling everything as I struggled to get Isaac out.
We only had one little scare during my labor. Mom was out making a call to Dad to update him on my progress. Kevin and I were napping. All of a sudden three nurses rushed in and woke me abruptly. "You need to turn on your side right now!" one said. Kevin jumped awake and I groggily complied with the nurse's command. The three descended upon me as they proceeded to replace the external fetal heart monitor with an internal one. When it was done, they stood watching Isaac's heartbeat with anticipation. It was after he stabilized that Maureen, our primary nurse, explained that his heartbeat had dropped too low during a contraction.
After twelve hours the time was nearing to begin pushing. I was starting to feel the pressure of Isaac's descent with each new contraction. Time to wake up! At 11:50 am, I started the final stretch. It was a slow start because I wasn't pushing as hard as I could. The nurse kept coaching me to bear down and push harder... I knew I was holding back. Finally I confessed to her that I was afraid of having an accident on the table. She was sensitive to my concern but told me that I needed to give it all I could to encourage Isaac down the birth canal. So to help me focus she covered me up further down there and said, "There, now no one will know if you do or not." She was great. :) I appreciated that.
Remember that mirror I said I didn't want? Well, as I progressed it was actually helpful having it to help motivate me to keep pushing. I only had it there shortly before I said, "Take it away!!" But for the while that it was there, and I could see a glimpse of Isaac's dark head, it helped me to stay focused and encouraged that we were progressing. With Kevin to my left and Mom at my head, I had two amazing coaches who helped me through. Although it felt good to push, it was starting to hurt more and more with each round. Kevin took over the counting, and at one point was counting too slow. I felt like my head was going to explode while pushing so hard for so long, between contractions I finally strained out a command, "Kevin you gotta count faster!!!!!! You're going too slow!!!!!!!" After that, he was perfect.
The Lord was my other gentle and consistent coach during Isaac's delivery. We had the radio set to KLOVE, and as worship music poured from the speakers, I was able to stay grounded and encouraged throughout the struggle. I truly felt His presence as He coached me. I heard his voice gently leading me and encouraging me, keeping me from near despair. His words were echoed through the music, which spoke to my soul.
After an hour of pushing, it was time to call the doctor in. Little did we know that I was one of four women giving birth within a 20 minute window!! Finally Dr. Lindstrom was in and ready to catch a baby. Pushing was getting very difficult by this point. I couldn't tell that I had had an epidural, it seemed I was feeling everything. Whether that was normal or not, I was getting tired and feeling a lot of pain by now. My silent pushing led to moaning, which eventually led to grunting (I'm told. I don't remember some of this next phase of pushing. I think I must have gone to some happy place since I had my eyes tightly clamped shut for the remainder of the delivery.) Just when I cried out, "I can't do this!" Dr. Lindstrom responded with, "Compose yourself, and push hard one more time!" That helped pull me back from giving up, and with one more strong push, Isaac was out!
I looked down in disbelief at my new baby boy. I was sobbing uncontrollably. I looked at Kevin, and he was crying too. I just couldn't believe all of this was happening, again thinking "I just had a baby!" I held my breath waiting for that first cry. Kevin had the honor of cutting the umbilical cord, and then they lifted Isaac onto my chest. I will never forget this next moment, our first moment. Isaac peeked out of one eye at me, and we made eye contact. He slowly opened the other eye and laid there, just staring into my eyes. Time stood still in that moment.
It's been 8 days now, and I'm not going to lie, it's been rough. Today I can sit semi-comfortably for the first time! And I can actually walk around! It's great. I will never take that for granted again... I am finally starting to feel like myself again. Isaac has been an incredibly good baby, and I find so much joy in simply holding him and watching his different facial expressions. He is really attentive! And that was confirmed yesterday at his one week check up. As his pediatrician held him, Isaac studied her face intently. Noting how he stayed focused on her face for so long, she commented that he is a very intelligent baby. She said that this is how babies learn, by face to face interaction. Although he has dropped to 8 lbs, 10 oz, which is normal, it came as no surprise that he is in the higher percentile for his weight and length. He's a healthy boy!
Even though I've been in extreme discomfort from my epesiotomy and other recovery issues, I have treasured this last week with Isaac. It's been amazing to learn about his already developing personality. He is sometimes impatient and easily frustrated, but he is very persistent and determined. He doesn't give up easily. He already loves routine and structure, and if I do anything out of order he gets out of sorts. He's also a cuddler and loves to be held. Even though we may regret this later, I've discovered that he sleeps best when he sleeps with his Momma... and as a result Mommy and Daddy sleep better too!
My little boy is so precious. That's all I can say... a true blessing from the Lord that I will always cherish and be thankful for.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
By far the hardest thing I've EVER done...
... but the most amazing and rewarding experience too.
Pictures for now - my precious boy.
Isaac Allan Self
Born at 1:30 pm, Wednesday Aug 6, 2008.
21 3/4 inches long and 9 lbs, 7 oz.
Story to come later.
Please pray for me. I'm having a really tough recovery.
Pictures for now - my precious boy.
Isaac Allan Self
Born at 1:30 pm, Wednesday Aug 6, 2008.
21 3/4 inches long and 9 lbs, 7 oz.
Story to come later.
Please pray for me. I'm having a really tough recovery.
Getting ready for the party
First introduction
First family photo
Big boy!!
Proud Noni and perfect assistant coach with Isaac
Daddy's future golfer
Dr. Joe with Isaac
I can't believe he's ours! He's so perfect!
Mom & me with Isaac
Noni and Isaac
Going home!
first day home
After his first sponge bath
Monday, August 4, 2008
And We Have a Plan!
I just got the call! I'm scheduled to go in tomorrow night at 10 pm! Looks like Isaac's birthday may be August 6th! We shall see... Either way, it feels remarkably comforting to have something planned.
We appreciate your continued prayers! We'll be sure to keep you as updated as possible...
We appreciate your continued prayers! We'll be sure to keep you as updated as possible...
For You Eager Beavers... :)
I'm sorry I've been a little AWOL for the past week. I guess there was just nothing new or exciting to report (and I've been a little cranky and introverted)! But a lot of you have been waiting in anticipation, and I certainly appreciate your care and concern. I'm blessed to have so many eager friends checking in on me.
My due date came and went yesterday, and Isaac has not made his arrival yet. After my appointment this morning, we learned that I don't seem to have progressed too much since last week, still 90% effaced and maybe close to 3 cm, and somewhere between -2 and -1 station. So.... at my request I've been put on the induction list! This means that the office will call sometime between 3 and 5pm for the next day's availability, which is based on available beds. So I could get in as early as tomorrow (but I don't want to get my hopes up for that).
My mom is here now, which has been really nice. Kevin and Mom are real troopers... I have to confess that I haven't really been the most pleasant person to be around! But I'm working on my attitude and God has been helping me be little more patient. It's been tough.
Well, I guess that's it! If you think of it, please pray for little Isaac to come soon. I'd prefer that he come on his own, but I'm getting pretty desperate for induction at this point. And please pray for my attitude... I do want to be a pleasant and positive person to be with, especially since Kevin and Mom have been so good to me. Also I don't want to look back on these last days before Isaac and regret my attitude and/or wish I could have done things differently.
Thanks again for all of your attention and care. I am really thankful for all of your encouragement and prayers. I have great friends! :)
My due date came and went yesterday, and Isaac has not made his arrival yet. After my appointment this morning, we learned that I don't seem to have progressed too much since last week, still 90% effaced and maybe close to 3 cm, and somewhere between -2 and -1 station. So.... at my request I've been put on the induction list! This means that the office will call sometime between 3 and 5pm for the next day's availability, which is based on available beds. So I could get in as early as tomorrow (but I don't want to get my hopes up for that).
My mom is here now, which has been really nice. Kevin and Mom are real troopers... I have to confess that I haven't really been the most pleasant person to be around! But I'm working on my attitude and God has been helping me be little more patient. It's been tough.
Well, I guess that's it! If you think of it, please pray for little Isaac to come soon. I'd prefer that he come on his own, but I'm getting pretty desperate for induction at this point. And please pray for my attitude... I do want to be a pleasant and positive person to be with, especially since Kevin and Mom have been so good to me. Also I don't want to look back on these last days before Isaac and regret my attitude and/or wish I could have done things differently.
Thanks again for all of your attention and care. I am really thankful for all of your encouragement and prayers. I have great friends! :)
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