A New Day

I am feeling very encouraged today. God's grace is new with every sunrise, and this morning I certainly felt uplifted. Much better than last night! I'm so thankful for God's personal nature. He says that when we draw near to Him, He will draw near to us. How incredible that He really means that! I was just reading in Romans this morning about how He loved us before we knew Him, before we loved Him back. How amazing is His love.

I'm so thankful that no matter how many times I come to Him with my anxieties, He is always faithful to meet me where I'm at and even more to trade my worries for His peace!


One of my favorite promises:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7

Quiet Thoughts

Soaking in some quiet time to myself before finally hitting the sack. I'm exhausted and I know I should be sleeping, but I need this time without my little koala bear clinging to me. Kevin is up north again on a job, so I'm on my own tonight. He left early this morning, and today has been lonely without him but I got through it just fine. I got to hang out with Autumn today and we made it through Old Navy with Isaac sleeping peacefully the whole time. That was fun... nice to shop for some normal clothes for a change (even though I'm sad at what size I am right now). And then Jake and Jaimie came over tonight and we had dinner and watched TV. I have great friends.

Isaac is in this new phase where he just wants me to hold him 24-7. It's endearing that he knows who I am and loves being in my arms... and quite satisfying to know that when he's like this I'm the only one that can make him happy... and I've gotten pretty skilled at doing things with one hand... and I love cuddling with him... but (and you knew this was coming) it's exhausting! I've started calling him my little koala bear because that's basically what he is right now. Nothing makes him happier than to cling to momma. He's already mastering the art of looking up at me with big puppy dog eyes and quivering lip. What's a mother to do? It melts my heart!

Expending so much energy caring for Isaac has left me tired and restless. It's in the quiet times like this that Anxiety, my great nemesis, creeps back into my heart. I feel myself getting nervous and anxious, although I'm not sure what about. Perhaps it's the clock ticking away these last weeks I have solely with Isaac before returning to work. These weeks have been going by like sand between my fingers. I can't believe Isaac is already 6 1/2 weeks old. It seems like we just brought him home yet we've had him forever. I just don't like the thought of leaving him to go back to work. I'm really going to have separation anxiety - I already do! Please pray for me in this area.

There are several phases in life, and after marriage this is the biggest one - having your first child. I am admittedly slow to adjust to change, and although we've come a long way already, I still feel the dust settling in this one. I still feel overwhelmed by my emotions at times and still feel nervous about all of the unknowns... I feel it stealing my joy sometimes. I'm telling you, anxiety is like the thorn in my side. If there's one thing I struggle with the most it's this.

Lord, you know my heart. You know my battle. You are my Creator, and nothing about me takes you by surprise.

I have been distant, I know. Preoccupied with Isaac... consumed by taking care of him first above everything else... including You. I'm learning self-sacrifice in a new way as I continually put Isaac's needs above my own. This is good, but I know that in doing so I have also been neglecting my time with YOU. Cal reminded us this week about what it really means to be a follower of Christ. And He read Jesus' words about loving Him above everything and everyone else, including your family. I need to put Jesus before Isaac, and for me right now this is in the form of spending time with You when the opportunity presents itself. I hunger for you.

I need You. I'm sorry I've been distant. I want to be near You again. Would You please meet me here? I feel so anxious right now. I feel incomplete. There is something gnawing at my heart, and I finally admit the absence of peace that only comes from You.

Please be with me tonight.

Smiles Away!

I got it! I caught his adorable grin on camera! Look at our little heartbreaker...

The more the camera flashed, the more excited he got. I just had to share all of them... he's so cute.

Our Version of Tummy Time

So we've learned that Isaac strongly dislikes the conventional "tummy time" of hanging out on a rolled up blanket and trying to hold his head up. And this is a kid who already knows what he likes and doesn't like - and he will let you know! (Look out toddler years)

But another thing I know is that he loves leaning back to look up at our faces when we hold him facing us. So I decided to try a different kind of tummy time... and it worked! He loved it! He was cooing and smiling at me and looking around. Not only can he prop himself up and hold his head up, he surprised me by turning his head to look around too. This is silly, but it really did nearly bring tears to my eyes in pride. My little boy is so good at holding his head up!

Baby Gots Gas

Poor baby Isaac. He gets painful gas, and it must be extruciating by the volume of his wailing and intensity of his red face! Tonight he actually started to choke himself on his own drool because he was crying so hard. It terrified me! We are trying our best to help him out by giving him Baby Gas-X beginning in the afternoon when he eats in hopes to ward off the evening attack. We make sure that we burp him many times throughout feedings. We let food settle after he's eaten and he's not jostled around. I'm also doing my best not to eat any "gassy" foods so that they don't get to him when I nurse him. Incidentally, we've come to find that sometimes that's the only thing that will calm him down... I'm becoming a human pacifier!

So.... I'm just wondering if you moms have any other suggestions for helping the poor little guy out. I feel so bad for him!! (And Kevin and I are beginning to dread the evenings because we never know what's in store for us from day to day. Some nights are downright awful.)

Advice anyone??

Irresistable

I'm becoming a blogging maniac. But he's just so stinkin' cute! I couldn't resist sharing this adorable moment... this is what Isaac is doing right now as I blog. Little Treasure indeed (his onesie is so appropriate).

Oh Yeah, and then There's...

... this fun event from today. Kevin got a kick out of it and just had to document the moment. I promise we're not teaching him these things!

Seth, does this remind you of a time when Hunter used to point with his middle finger? We have some pictures of that moment too... aah, the innocence of childhood!

Play Time!

Isaac really focuses well on things and has a great attention span, so I decided to break out the play gym. He was so enthralled with the animals overhead. It was fun to watch him discovering something new. And every once in a while he'd hit one with his hand, which sent them swaying. He didn't realize that he was the one that did that, but he loved watching them move.

Next on the agenda is "tummy time." More to come on that adventure... the doctor showed us how to do it, and Isaac did really well for his first time. He can already push up on his elbows and hold his head at a 45* angle. What a champ!

More about his 1 month checkup yesterday - many of you conjecture that we have a football player on our hands. We'll see if you're right! Isaac tops the charts on all of his measurements! He weighs 11 lbs 12 oz, and is at a tall 23 1/2 inches. (We were asked if we have any tall people in our family. Yep!) To give you a comparison, Isaac is basically the average size of a three month old! And I wasn't sure if I was feeding him enough.... :)

A Month and a Day

Yesterday was Isaac's one month birthday! He's growing so fast!

What a cutie... I nearly caught him smiling

A Great Day!

Today is a great day! Isaac smiled at me more than once - and it wasn't gas! I put him in his cute "Hug Me" onesie, and I was talking to him. I was holding him facing me, and I said, "Hug you? Sure I'll hug you... and I'll kiss you too! I love you!" And he leaned back (like he loves to do) and looked up at me, and I covered him in kisses. Then he did it! A HUGE smile lit up his adorable face! I couldn't believe it. So I did it again, and he smiled AGAIN! So I asked him if he had gas... nope, no gas. He's so adorable!! He has the best smile.

Of course I didn't catch it on film, but I had to take a snapshot to mark the day.